This week it's all about getting that sweet sweet $$ as we set about finding sponsors for our park's attractions. First, Jim corals two lucky sponsors into a familiar duel as La Croix and Captain Morgan compete in a Beverage Showdown, each creating attractions that help you feel a little drunk or a bit more refreshed, plus you can get a photo op with the Captain himself, or maybe a french hipster moose. Meanwhile, Scottye's marketing department has been burning the candle at both ends taking suggestions from everything from Motel 6 to Kmart and even Guitar Hero. These prove fruitless, however, and a truly unfortunate sponsor emerges to present Lemony Snicket's Crumudgeonly Coaster, a 3-drink minimum attraction your childhood has been waiting for. So grab yourself some barely flavored soda water, some rum, or maybe a couple glasses of Perilous Potation and get to listening, our non-existent advertisers depend on it.
- La Croix Sparkling Water - Wikipedia
- Captain Morgan - Wikipedia
- Music Express - Wikipedia — Inspiration for the La Croix attraction "Pitchfork"
- Devil's Wheel - Wikipedia — Inspiration for the Captain Morgan attraction "Captain's Wheel"
- A Series Of Unfortunate Events - Wikipedia
- A Perilous Potation — The Curmudgeonly Coaster's signature cocktail
- André The Giant - Wikipedia
- Tagada - Wikipedia